A Time to Heal Timestamp: Moving Forward
by DawnTwilight
Summary: One minute he wanted to rip into whoever happened to be within arms reach and the next he felt so overwhelmed with emotion, it was making him feel like maybe he was going a little crazy.


H50H50H50

Danny slowly awoke, shifting stiffly on the bed, his body feeling hot and heavy. His skin stuck to the sheets and the light weight blanket tangled and twisted around his legs. He weakly kicked at them until he freed his feet.

His head hurt this morning and his eyes felt funny, too big for his sockets, so he rubbed at them, knocking loose the goo that glued his lashes together.

Blinking his eyes open, he could see the sun was leaking in around the room darkening blinds that Steve had bought on the second day he had been home. This side of the house faced the east and in the very early mornings the sun would blaze into the windows and wake him, making the room too hot to be comfortable.

His folks shared the room next to his and hadn't complained, but then again, his ma and pop always did get up with the sun while Danny preferred to sleep as late as possible, but lately, that's all he had been doing.

He took a second to take stock of himself, rolling from his left side to his back, pushing at the pillow he used to prop himself up on.

He felt like he was moving in slow motion and he supposed that wasn't to far from the truth, but he finally managed to swing his legs over the edge of the mattress and push himself up to a sitting position.

His mouth was desert dry and he eyed and grabbed the bottle of water that Steve had brought in for him the night before.

It was warm, but he chugged it anyway.

One or more of his medications made him thirsty all the time, but once he got to bed at night, his mouth lost all moisture, so he downed over half the water in one go before taking smaller sips that collapsed the plastic bottle.

Recapping it, he threw it into the small trashcan near the night stand, along with the other half dozen empties.

He sat still for a little longer, running both hands up and through his unruly hair, trying to wake up more and work up the energy to get out of his bed and get going.

He already felt so worn out… really he just wanted to lie back down and burrow under his blankets and sleep the day away.

But this was the last day that he would have to spend with his ma and pop before they headed back to the mainland and so he used his hands to push to his feet and shuffled toward the door.

He could hear voices coming from the kitchen and knew that Steve and his folks were already up. It seemed that he was always the last to rise and on some days it was nearly noon before he emerged from his bed, but no one gave him any crap about it and he wasn't sure how he felt about that.

Back in Jersey, at home with his parents, his pop would get them all up in the mornings while his ma made them breakfast. He would flip the light switches on and off and sing, 'Wake up Sleepy Heads', loudly and off key until they all slipped from between the sheets.

But he was always, always the last one up.

He would bury his face under his pillow and pull the blanket over his head, until his pop would come and perch on the bed, forcibly pulling the blankets down and rubbing his back, telling him he was sleeping his life away.

And then, when he moved away to go to college, he had to drag his own ass out of bed for a class or work and when Rachel came along and then Grace, he was used to getting up early…still not a morning person, but adjusting…now, with only himself to think about, he reverted to sleeping in as long as possible, doing anything and everything he could to eek out a little more sleep time.

On his days off, he could sleep as long as he wanted…that was if Steve was busy elsewhere…which he never was.

Steve would call him or just show up, banging on his door and before Danny knew it, he was up and showered and dressed and off to do something with his partner, long before he had planned on being awake, but now…

Now no one said anything about sleeping in, which meant that they were treating him differently, which for whatever reason…irked him.

Everyone had been so nice to him, everyone had been so careful around him…

Yes, he was still recovering and yes, it had been a close call, but he had made it, damn it…he was still the same old Danny, so why were the people closest to him treating him like maybe he needed to be handled with kid gloves?

He was capable of getting is own water bottles and he didn't need people to bring him food on trays or remind him to take his meds. He was perfectly capable of doing shit on his own…he wasn't so fragile that at the slightest bump he would break into a thousand pieces.

And then he tripped over his own damn feet and bumped into the door frame, smacking his shoulder against the protruding wood and cursed a blue streak that should have had his mother yelling at him loudly.

The conversation in the kitchen abruptly stopped, but no one came rushing to his aid and that pissed him off too…no hovering Pop or Steve, no yelling Ma and he knew…knew he was being unreasonable.

"Can't have it both ways, asshole."

But he couldn't help feeling the way he was feeling.

The hushed talking continued in the room down the hall and then a burst of laughter erupted from the direction of the kitchen. Danny shuffled along the hall, toward the bathroom, rubbing at his shoulder and he could hear his Ma scolding his Pop, but couldn't make out the words and then as he was shutting the door to the bathroom, Steve yelled, "I can't believe…" and he wondered if they were talking about him again, if his parents were telling another embarrassing story from his youth.

His pill bottles were all lined up in a neat row on the vanity, sticky notes hung over each, Steve's neat hand writing reminding him which ones to take when and he couldn't help the small smile when he spotted another water bottle waiting at the end.

Now, feeling near tears, he leaned against the counter, shaking his head.

"What the hell is wrong with me?"

One minute he wanted to rip into whoever happened to be within arms reach and the next he felt so overwhelmed with emotion…it felt like maybe he was going a little crazy.

The whole situation sucked.

He wasn't being fair to his folks and to Steve…mostly Steve. He didn't know why he was being so mean, his cutting words and snide remarks hurting people he never ever wanted to hurt, but it was like he couldn't control his tongue or his temper.

His ma and pop had no problem correcting him, telling him to knock it off, that he was acting out like a child, but Steve just stood there and took it...took whatever venom that had flown out of his mouth, over some inconsequential thing, looking like a whipped puppy and then Danny's own guilt over his words and actions set in and he just felt miserable.

It was a vicious cycle that he just couldn't seem to break.

He turned on the tap and wetted his hands, bringing the cooling water to his heated cheeks, looking at his prescriptions, trying to decide which ones he could get away with not taking.

His moodiness… the emotional barrage, the bone tired exhaustion…were all side effects of the meds in the little white capped bottles and so he reasoned, if he stopped taking them, he would go back to being his usual self.

But he also knew that in order to heal properly, he would have to take all his medicines like a good little boy.

Sighing again, he reached for and uncapped the first bottle, reading the label and the sticky note, and setting the blue oval pill on the counter. He repeated the process with the remaining bottles and scooped the pills into the palm of his hand and grabbed the cool water…a bottle that Steve must have brought in for him this morning and damn it if tears weren't pressing at his eyes again.

He almost chucked the palm full into the toilet, but instead, he told himself, "Suck it up, Williams, it's not forever," and brought them to his mouth, swallowing and chasing them down with the water. He made a face at the bitter taste, before drinking the rest of the bottle.

He used the toilet, then reached in the shower stall and turned the water to warn. He shucked his boxers and sweaty tee, tossing them in the hamper, pulling the Velcro on the belt around him; placing it on top of the folded towels on the toilet seat…Steve's doing, no doubt.

This time a surge of…happiness warmed his heart.

He knew that over the last couple of weeks, since he had gotten out of the hospital, he had been a real ass...well, more of an ass, so Danny decided, he needed to try harder.

He needed to let Steve and his folks help him, because they did what they did because they loved him…he knew that.

Mind made up, he stepped under the spray, sighing as he directed the adjustable head to sore and stiff muscles.

It didn't take long to clean his body, wash his hair, sticking with his daily routine for dealing with his ostomy.

His bag was about half full, so after drying he straddled the toilet backwards and leaned forward, opening the clip enclosure and letting gravity do the work.

This part of his morning ritual didn't seem so bad anymore. He had gotten used to taking care of this new part of him, even though he was still counting the days until he wouldn't have to anymore.

Once done, he donned the belt that enclosed his bag and dressed in fresh shorts and a tee.

By the time he made it to the kitchen, a plate with soft boiled eggs and a bowl of cream of wheat waited for him.

His pop was out back, Danny could see him through the sliding glass door, but his ma was still in the kitchen, back turned away from him, rooting in the fridge. "You want juice, baby?"

He sank into the chair in front of his food and nodded, even though his ma couldn't see him.

She poured him a glass of apple juice and a glass of water, dropping a kiss on to his forehead as she passed.

Danny reached up and snagged the sleeve of her robe and his mom turned to look at him.

He could feel his throat clogging and his eyes swelling, but she leaned in and tugged him close, tucking his face against her chest and Danny could hear her heart beating through the thick robe.

He felt a little ridiculous to be clinging to his mother, but he also felt good…right, because his ma loved him so much and she knew…knew he didn't want to be this way.

"It'll get better, baby…you'll see."

He realized she was gently swaying with him, but he made no move to pull away.

"Can anyone join in?" His pop's huge arms engulfed him from behind, blunt fingers rubbed at his neck and shoulders. "How about we just hang around here today…Steve went to get Gracie for our trip to Pearl Harbor, but I think I would like it better to just rest up before our flight…whatcha think sweetie?"

His ma's voice rumbled through his head as she answered, "I think that's a great idea…it's such a long flight and even though we are taking the red eye, you know I can't sleep on planes."

Danny sat up, but his folks still hung on to him. "Don't stay because of me…you go and have fun…"

"Nah," he's pop patted his back before stepping away. "I can see the Harbor on our next visit, when you're feeling more up to showing us around…besides, that Kamekona fellow was telling your ma about the luau at the Hilton, so I was thinking we could have dinner there…see the show before our flight."

"That's a great idea, Jimmy…we can hang around today, and rest up…see the show before we head out…Whatcha say, Danny?" his mom was still standing in front of him, so he had to look up to see her face, look at her blue eyes to determine if she really wanted to rest or if she was just agreeing with his dad because that's what they thought would be best for him…not that she ever gave anything away, even with Danny looking her straight in the eye.

"Sure…I mean…"

Car doors slammed outside and he could hear Grace's excited chatter as she and Steve came through the front door. She hurried into the kitchen, her bathing suit on under her tank top and shorts and Danny knew that the decision to hang out had been made long before now, but that was okay, because Grace was beaming at him.

She ran toward him and wrapped him in her little arms and it felt just as good as being held by his ma and pop. "Hey, Monkey…I'm glad you're here."

She pushed away, kissing him on the cheek. "Me too, Danno. Are you going to come out onto the beach…Pop pop's gonna try out surfing…"

Danny shot his dad a questioning look, "he is, huh…well, I can't miss that."

"Good…come on Poppy…I can show you the land stuff while we wait for Aunty Kono."

His daughter and father quickly disappeared out the back door and his ma patted his shoulder one more time before excusing herself to get dressed for the day, leaving him alone with Steve.

Steve plopped in the chair next to him, sitting so close their knees were touching, inclining his head towards Danny's forgotten breakfast. "Not hungry, Danno?"

He was, in fact, not hungry…he was never really hungry, but he picked up his spoon, expecting Steve to go out back and help Grace with the surfing lesson, but Steve stayed were he was, resting his arm along the back of Danny's chair and watched while Danny spooned the cooling cereal into his mouth.

He ate most of the cereal and picked at his eggs while Steve looked on and then Danny said, "I may not be sleeping, but this is still creepy, babe."

Steve smirked, leaning in a little closer, like he had a secret that only Danny should hear, but instead of whispering, he planted a smooch on Danny's lips and then another and another. It was…nice, soft and sweet and then Steve's tongue darted out to run along the length of Danny's bottom lip.

He reached up and pulled Steve closer, relaxing against him, letting the soft touches and warm heat occupy his thoughts.

He heard footsteps and the back door closing, thinking it was just his ma, but when Steve finally pulled away and rested his head on Danny's shoulder, he glanced out the back window and saw that Kono had taken over the lesson.

So much for plausible deniability.

"Don't worry about it, Danno…You're parents took the news well and we can trust Kono...Chin too." Steve sat up and then stood, taking Danny's hand and pulling him up to his feet. "Let's head out back and watch the lesson…Ma wants lots of pictures."

Danny found himself on a recliner, a light blanket draped over his legs and his library book and a cold drink at hand.

Steve changed into trunks and went to help Kono with his Pop and Gracie and his Ma took lots of photos of the day as Danny napped and read.

Later in the afternoon, Chin and Malia showed up too.

Chin went to the beach, caught some waves and played with Grace in the surf.

Malia sat by him on the other lounge, her hand holding her belly and Danny wondered if maybe there would be a new Kelly soon, but he kept his thought to himself, instead chatting about how he was feeling, what they had had for lunch and his mom mom's recipe for carrot cake that Malia wanted him to make for Chin's upcoming birthday.

Before the sun had started to set, his pop was able to paddle out and stand on the board, catching some of the smaller waves near the surf and his ma had gotten some great photos of them all.

Malia patted his leg when Chin started inland, "I know Steve's going back to work on Monday, so if you need anything, just give me a call, okay?"

"Yeah…okay. Thanks."

"Are you ready to head home, woman," Chin called, planting his board in the sand and stepping under the outdoor shower to get most of the sand off his suit and skin.

Malia handed him his towel and nodded, "Ready when you are."

Chin patted down with the towel, slipping on his tee and turning to him. "See you later, brah…You're ma is already talking about their next trip to visit, so let us know when they come again...I want to hear some more of your escapades, brah..."

"You heading home?" Steve dried himself as he approached, "You're welcome to come with us to the Hilton tonight."

"Nah, but thanks…I'll see you on Monday." Chin wrapped his arm around his wife and gave them another little wave before heading around the house to their car.

"Did Malia look…different to you?" Steve took the seat she had just occupied, propping his sandy feet up on Danny's chair.

"I don't think so," Danny said, pushing at Steve's legs until he dropped his feet. "Why?"

"I don't know… she just looked…happier maybe…I'm gonna change. Pop and Grace are heading in soon too." He stood then, leaning in to kiss Danny before heading to the house.

Danny watched the ocean for a bit, eyes heavy, even though he had already taken a few naps today.

At some point, he opened them to see Steve leaning over him.

"Hey, babe…everyone is ready to go, but we can stay in if you want…"

"No…I'm ready." Danny let Steve haul him to his feet and stepped into Steve's arms when he had opened them for him.

He rested against the man that he loved, thinking about how much he was gonna miss his ma and pop, about when Grace might next be able to visit and about the fact, that come Monday morning, he would be on his own while his team went back to work.

"I gotcha babe...take all the time you need." Steve kissed his neck then, resting his head on top of Danny's.

But then he thought about the glow on Malia's face as she unconsciously rubbed at her belly, about the knowing smirk that Kono shot him as she said her good byes.

Life was moving forward.

And even though some days may suck, Danny decided, it was about time he went with the flow.

H50H50H50


End file.
